


Small scared Kitten

by SicklySweet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, M/M, minor disassociation, self worth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:06:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9451532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SicklySweet/pseuds/SicklySweet
Summary: Kenma is short. He knows that. But when someone makes fun of him for his height it triggers an anxiety attack.





	

He was small. That much was blatantly obvious. Kenma was a small, short, thin. There was no changing that. He had never really cared about his size, no one ever commented, but realistically he suspected that was because of Kuroo. 

But it wasn't impossible. He wasn't always with Kuroo and he wasn't always around people who didn't care. In fact, a lot of the time he was around people who very much did care. Volleyball was a game of height, and he did not have that. Sometimes, people liked to make comments on that fact. And sometimes that time was today. 

Today left Kenma training with the team without Kuroo, on the day that school tours were happening. Once a year Nekoma high would do tours of the school for young people interested in joining the school. For students it was just a hindrance, random people coming into the rooms to stare at them like zoo animals. Kenma never liked people staring at him, it made him uncomfortable. That was why he felt better with Kuroo by his side, no one looked at him then. 

And after the classes were over, it wasn't unheard of for the tours to come and sit in on trainings. He hated them the most, it was worse than actual games, it wasn't like there was other things for the people to watch. Just what they were doing, and as the setter, the spotlight often fell on him. 

He had thought the tour wouldn't come in today. He was grateful, Kuroo couldn't make training, and the mood was so different without their lively captain. But they kept going. He had thought he could avoid the staring eyes of the people and just train. But then the door slammed open and the principal guided a group into the gym, laughing and chatting and being completely loud. His stomach sank. This was not what he wanted. 

He took a deep breath, and ignored them. He had done it before he could do it now. Just focus, lev was spiking with him today and he couldn't let the giant run free without supervision. He could feel the eyes on them, the giant and the child, center stage. He was now wishing Lev was with Yaku. He could hear them talking. He could ignore it. He focused on his setting. Making sure Lev could hit them and calling him down when he was messing up. That was when he heard it. 

It was hushed whispers, but he heard it. The laughter, the comments of 'hes so small, he shouldn't be there, look at him next to that giant, why is he even on the team'. His heart stuttered and he missed the ball. He didn't even see it coming. Lev had run off to get the ball he had spiked, he had thrown it back and it bounced right past him. Really the noise of it snapped him out off the staring at the floor he had suddenly started. 

Then the voices came again, 'he even missed it! What is he even here for? What a joke' his heart was breaking. He needed it to stop. He needed them to stop talking. He needed Kuroo, but Kuroo wasn't here. Kuroo was tall, Kuroo was confident, Kuroo wouldn't let them talk like that. He couldn't breathe. He needed to leave. 

His eyes snapped up and Lev was leaning over him and talking. He couldn't hear him. What was he saying? "Kenma are you OK?" Lev asked him, tilting his head as he loomed over him. He had never had an issue with Lev, he had just been like a puppy, but right now he seemed too big, stepping away and trying to get away. What was happening. 

"Lev... I- I'm not feeling well. I need to go" he said quickly before stepping away. The team stopped. Oh no, more eyes on him. He couldn't do it. He needed to get out. He could hear the snickering, the people watching him, laughing at him stuttering, he couldn't breathe. Probably faster than anyone here had ever seen him move, he grabbed his bag and pushed out of the gym. He didn't even get changed, he couldn't waste time, he needed to get home. 

Home was safe. No one came into his home except Kuroo. He could hide in his bed and play his games and everything would be OK. He was panting by the time he got home, he was shaking and panting and he couldn’t think straight. He dully pulled himself up the stairs into his room, not hearing his parents ask if he was OK. 

He kicked off his shoes, crawling onto his bed and under his sheets. He couldn't move, his brain was a mess, he couldn't breathe. He stared blankly at the inside of his sheets, quickly losing track of time as his hands shook. 

He didn't know how long he had been there. He hadnt moved. Nothing had changed. Then suddenly there was a dip in the bed, the sheets lifting up before swiftly being pulled down again as someone slipped under the sheets and wrapped his arms around Kenmas waist, pulling his back to the persons chest. 

He knew it was Kuroo. It was always Kuroo. His body fit around his perfectly as he cuddled him to him, his head resting on his shoulder, breath hitting his ear. "What happened Kitten?" Came his soft voice as he nuzzled his neck. Kuroo was the only one to be able to pull him down when he was like this. It didn't happen often, but when he did, Kuroo saved him. Stopped him from drowning. 

He couldn't speak yet, just staring blankly at the sheets in front of him. He didn't even feel like he was in his body anymore. He was just existing. But Kuroo didn't like that. "Come on Kenma, come back to me now" he said rolling him over so his face was pressed into Kuroo's neck. 

Slowly he started to feel himself come back to his body, his heart clutching and his hands coming up to twist lightly into Kuroo's shirt. His breathing started to pick up as the panic started to hit him again. His eyes squeezed shut as he felt tears started to fill them. No no no this was too much. He couldn't deal with this. Everything hurt. 

Kuroo rubbed his back softly, muttering calming words as he started to sob into his neck. Kuroo was to kind, he was so nice, talking like he was something Worthy. He cried for a while, pulling himself closer and closer to Kuroo as he tried to stop his feelings from consuming him. 

He slowly calmed down, Kuroo still whispering calm soft words, pressing small kisses to his skin. He hiccuped as he calmed his sobs. He felt better, but his head hurt. He held close to him, breathing deep and taking in Kuroos calm scent. He could calm down, Kuroo was here, he was OK. 

"You OK now kitten? Can you talk?" Kuroo asked after a while of silence. He nodded softly, not really wanting to speak yet. He could speak, but he didn't want to. He wanted to be quiet. "What happened? Can you tell me?" Kuroo asked gently, rubbing his back softly. Kenma whined softly, not wanting to talk about it, but he would for Kuroo. 

"School tours" he whispered to him. Kuroo nodded, still letting his hands rub in small circles. "Too many people?" Kuroo asked, his nose rubbing softly at his cheek. He shook his head, "There were people watching... They started talking..." He whispered, hands tightening. Kuroo nodded again, letting him take his time. He wasn't so great with words. He wasn't great with people. Kuroo understood that though, it was why he could cope with Kuroo. 

"They said I was too short to play... That I was useless... That I shouldn't be on the team" he whispered pulling himself closer. He was so scared. He didn't want to be useless. He couldn't be useless. He was useless. 

It was something he had fought in his mind for so long. He was short, he wasn't strong or fast, he got tired quickly. He wanted to be like Kuroo, he wanted to be amazing, he wanted to be perfect. He just wasn't. Kuroo made him feel good, like he was worth it, but when people reminded like this... He just couldn't. 

"Kenma don't. Don't let what some strangers think effect you" Kuroo said softly. "Kenma you are amazing. You are such an important part of our team, we couldn't be nearly as good if we Didn't have you" Kuroo said pulling back to look at him. "Kenma height isn't nearly as important as people think... Just wait until they see Hinata, they have no idea" Kuroo said cupping his cheek. 

"You are so important." He said softly pressing his forehead against his. Kenmas eyes watered again, a small sob coming out as he leaned into him. Kuroo was too good for him. He was so kind. He loved him so much. "Thankyou" he whispered to Kuroo. 

"Not a problem kitten" Kuroo whispered pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "How about I get your Ds, and you can show me your new pokemon you caught" he asked with a smile. Kenma nodded a small smile. Kuroo was the best. Kuroo slipped out of the sheets, grabbed Kenmas gameboy before slipping back into the bed. Kenma smiled and took the game and switched it on as Kuroo wrapped himself around him. 

Kenma felt like the luckiest person in the world. Kuroo was just amazing. He was so grateful for him. He leaned up to give him a peck to the cheek before tucking himself under his chin. "Love you Kuroo" he whispered to him before starting his game. "Love you too Kitten" Kuroo said with a smile, completely happy with this moment.


End file.
